Relationship Issues

An Overview

All relationships are on account of investment, we know that romantic relationships are a product of hard work. At the start of relationship, you think the relationship is your fairy tale happily ever, but many marriages and relationships need constant maintenance to remain healthy. In a stressful world of today, which is identified by lack of patience, wrong expectation, busy lifestyle and higher accessibility to outside world of friends, relationships needs more nurture. Couples seek counseling for one or many reasons, from lack of respect, financial issues, power struggles and communication problems to sexual dissatisfaction and infidelity. In case of marital or family issues, relationship counseling is used as a methodology to improve communication, sharing of feelings, listening with empathy and rekindle the same respect, trust and love that the couple had in the beginning of their relationship.

Signs and Symptoms

  • Constant criticism and stress in the relationship even from one side.
  • Mistrust
  • Jealousy from partner’s achievement.
  • No intimacy.
  • Extreme lack of communication.
  • Lack of Financial independence.
  • Lack of eye contact.
  • Too much frequent fights.

Causes of Relationship Issues:

  • No communication or lack of communication or inconsistent communication or negative communication.

  • Sexual issues, causing anger, frustration or embarrassment.

  • Infidelity or unfaithfulness, which can be of physical or emotional nature or both.

  • Lack of intimacy.

  • Lack of quality time for each other.

Principles

  1. Shift in perspective: The couple is encouraged to see the relationship in a more objective manner and taught skills to deal with subjective feelings. The idea is to monitor self transformation rather than focusing on the partner to make them change. They are taught to stop the blame-game and take responsibility for their reactions.
  2. Eliminating Dysfunctional Behavior: The therapist identifies the key issues of both the partners which may be same or different and then develop a hypothesis that helps to conclude the root cause of dysfunctional behavior. Once the triggers in the relationship are discovered both are taught appropriate future responses. E.g. Wife nagging is difficult for the husband to handle, then nagging acts as a trigger for the husband.
  3. Increasing Emotional Expression: Couples who avoid expressing their private feelings are at greater risk of becoming emotionally distant and hence grow apart. Couple is encouraged to bring creative ways to express love and affection for each other. Due to childhood patterns some people develop a more reserved style of expression. So, both the partners are provided help by the therapist to express their true feelings in a way that will eventually draw them closer together.
  4. Improving Communication: For an effective intimacy, communication is one of the "three C''s" the other two are closeness & commitment. In effective couples therapies we focus on helping the partners to communicate more effectively. Building on principles closeness and commitment, the communication should not be abusive, nor should partners ridicule each other when they do express their true feelings. Couples may, therefore, require "training" to learn how to speak to each other in more supportive and understanding ways and effective non abusive and conflict free communication. The listening skill need to be developed.
  5. Promoting Partners strengths: The Effective couple's therapists aim’s to promote the strengths of the relationship and work to build resilience. The couple's therapy involves specifically choosing major problems and accordingly promoting strengths of partners in order to help the couple derive more enjoyment out of their relationship. The behaviorally-oriented therapist may prescribe one partner to do something that pleases the other. Therapists from other orientations that focus more on emotions might help the couple develop a more positive narrative about their relationship. The people in troubled relationships need not give up in despair if their situation seems bleak. Further, people afraid of entering long-term relationships can be encouraged by learning that trouble relationships can be fixed.

Expectations from Relationship Counseling

The therapists employ many different techniques, exercises, and tools in the sessions depending on the specific issues that clients seek assistance in. However, there is a set of questions and activities that you will likely find in any relationship therapy experience.A variety of approaches can be applied in the context of relationship counseling. In the beginning of the session a common goal is decided by the therapist along with the couple. Proceeding with a clear intention is more likely to give accurate, desired results. Then the first session is more about taking the case history from both the partners individually. The therapy ends on a positive note by assigning needful task to both partners. Following sessions focus on adjusting skills and working out an action plan to reduce friction amongst the couple and bring harmony and respect. Every session evolves with self work that is taught to both the clients and constructive tasks are divided equally to bring about positive outcome and contribution from both sides.

Treatment

IDCT has been developed by Dr R K Suri and is the highest level of service provided by our most experienced therapists. IDCT was created to be efficient and effective and for couples who need change ‘now’. Just like serious medical conditions, serious relationship crises require immediate intervention. In IDCT, you and your partner work with an IDCT-certified therapist for 20 hours over 20 days and resolve issues. Your relationship is worth investing in!

How Relationship Therapy Works:

In most relationship problems originate from poor or wrong communication. Communication channels are enhanced by explaining about the rules of communication. An agenda is established not only for the therapy, but for each session. Considering the extent and severity of the issue, couple is given suggestions to make their own rules of the relationship to be followed on a daily basis.

“Looking back and wondering if it could have worked eventually hurts more than trying and failing.”